Alright so this originally was just a place for me to post things like stories or poems. I haven't really been on here in months because I haven't really written anything in that period of time. I wrote the beginning of a different story around a month ago but that one is sitting still and untouched just like all of the others. Here is a tone of bitching I suppose you could call it. Most things revolve around school...I started taking classes at an online college around a year ago and things were a little frustrating at first but manageable. Now it seems like my care meter as far as school has gone practically to zilch and I don't know how to fix it...Even an easy class that I am in I am getting a D in because my caring has caused me to miss deadlines and entire assignments. Even the things as simple as discussion questions I am slacking on and I need to get a handle on that. The other major thing in my life that seems to be causing me issues would be my weight..I have been on and off diets for the last few years, and honestly, haven't really seriously dieted or succeeded on one in months. Even that one can't be considered much of a success because it only lasted around a week before I caved. I am at a dangerous weight in my life and that is not a good thing. Other then minor issues that are all related to weight, I seem to be pretty healthy, especially for someone who has been around my size and fluctuating up and down my entire life. I suppose you could phrase it as:
Hello my name is Jen and I am a foodaholic.
I have weighed over 300 lbs since I was in 6th grade, was 310 up until the end of high school, and then over the last 7 years it just seems to get worse then better. Right now I am around the range of 380 lbs..meaning that I am very close to hitting the 400 lb range..that is something I always told myself I would rather die then hit but at the rate I am going I might as well just call it inevitable. I am going to try and start being good about this kind of thing tomorrow and hopefully without the stress of keeping record of everything I can just write about my feelings here or in my notebook and not try to drown out my frustrations in food. As far as work I have been keeping pretty much to myself as far as breaks go so my eating habits are my own to control. I need to realize that eating is not the only thing I have in life to really keep things under control...Well maybe I'll update tomorrow and maybe I won't ...we will see...blurgh
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Stranger in the Night
The air had a stale but chilled sense about it as the wind blew up over the hills, down through the valleys and into the branches of a dark and dreary forest. Not many creatures roamed through the thick brush of dead branches and brown pine needles, all gathered in death at the foot of large whispering trees. One life form did wander the small space between the oversized trunks, but nothing natural to this Earth. Practically glowing green eyes slid left to right as large black paws struck the ground one after the other, leaving paw prints larger than any dog known to man. After a mile of wandering about, nose to the wind, he stops at the edge of the forest, green eyes wandering down to catch site of small twinkling lights. The soft sound of laughter, tears and slumber struck the sensitive core of his hearing as he slowly moves forward. With a small white, sharp toothed grin, Jack steps between the final brush, no longer four-legged and covered in black fur. His muscular form grabs a stick from the ground, slashing repeatedly into his now tanned, human skin.
“Pathetic humans…I will show you the nightmares of the real world..and shatter the small shelter you have found in this boondock town” he whispered, grin fading into a glare of pure hatred. Racing down the grassy hill, rocks and dirt unphasedly stabbing into the pads of his calloused feet, Jack enters another small forest at the edge of town. Stalking through the trees, nose to the wind, he halts upon the small sounds of sleep from what came to him as a small framed girl.
"Revenge ....Thy is near...Begin with the heart of a maiden ...end with the blood of the frightened" he recited as he neared the edge of a bush. Twitching his ears lightly he broke out a grin, white teeth bared with sharp points. Suddenly his ears twitched again as the sound of breaking brush approached from behind. Whirling to face the oncoming intruder, Jack noticed the lowered muzzle of a domesticized dog crouched and approaching. A howl invaded his sensitive ears in an annoying manner before the sad excuse for an animal tried to attacked him. With a swift movement, he smacked the dog in one blow between eyes that suddenly turn dim.
"Tsk ...what a pity...Humans have ruined your shame.." he muttered to the stiffening body laying on the forest floor. Turning back to his original target, he spotted a young girl slowly approaching the windowsill in fright. Glaring he crouched back behind the brush, not wanting to be seen quite yet by this human. Glancing down under the sill, where the girls blue eyes were straying, he noticed a small black ball leaping up infront of the somewhat looker of a child. All humans were children to Jack as he had outlived many, and would outlive all of that girls ancestors. As the girl picked up the animal with a slight protesting mew, he watched her frame calm and turn back into the black of her room.
**************
The dawn light invaded the once creepy window as Keishi's eyes slid open. With a small moan of annoyance, she lifts the top half of her body off the comfort of the mattress as a loud piercing beeping sound vibrates through her once sleeping head. As Keishi reaches to relieve her hearing from the invading sound, she finds the bottom half of her body unable to move from a heavy burden. Fingers brushing the tab to off, she turns her head and notates the cat from the night before curled up ontop of the blanket that inhabits her lap.
"Neko...you are warm and comforting but I have to get up!" she stated exasperated until finally the animal stood up, stretched with claws clicked out and a yawn baring sharp teeth and a pink rough tongue. Making use of this distraction, Keishi swung her legs from under the comforter, almost immediately regretting having left her window open to the chill. Sneaking tiptoed across the wooden floor, she reaches for the chilled metal of the window as she goes to slide it into it's rightful place of closed. As the glass lowers, her eyes catch sight of something out of the ordinary laying in the grass behind her room. In recognition, Keishi's eyes widen in shock as she whirls to the closed door, yelling for her father to awaken. Reaching the open door to her parent's bedroom, she swears, noting the fact that her father was already most likely at work, and mother off to some form of shopping spree. Racing down the plush carpeted stairs, her tanned feet find the blue slippers in their rightful place. Opening the front door, a curse passes Keishi's lips as she books it out into the chilled morning air. Collapsing to her knees, she looks down at the black fur of a dog, small whimpers escaping its muzzle as red stains the small amount of snow splayed on the ground.
"Hang in there buddy....I'll figure something out..." she coos, trying to soothe the poor dog in it's injured form. Without alternative, she slid her thin arms underneath the heavy beast, lifting it with all of her strength up, across the yard and onto the cleared kitchen table. Racing to the bathroom, she grabs two large towels. Booking back to the animal, Keishi presses them to the wounds on its side.
"It'll be okay ....it will be okay..."
“Pathetic humans…I will show you the nightmares of the real world..and shatter the small shelter you have found in this boondock town” he whispered, grin fading into a glare of pure hatred. Racing down the grassy hill, rocks and dirt unphasedly stabbing into the pads of his calloused feet, Jack enters another small forest at the edge of town. Stalking through the trees, nose to the wind, he halts upon the small sounds of sleep from what came to him as a small framed girl.
"Revenge ....Thy is near...Begin with the heart of a maiden ...end with the blood of the frightened" he recited as he neared the edge of a bush. Twitching his ears lightly he broke out a grin, white teeth bared with sharp points. Suddenly his ears twitched again as the sound of breaking brush approached from behind. Whirling to face the oncoming intruder, Jack noticed the lowered muzzle of a domesticized dog crouched and approaching. A howl invaded his sensitive ears in an annoying manner before the sad excuse for an animal tried to attacked him. With a swift movement, he smacked the dog in one blow between eyes that suddenly turn dim.
"Tsk ...what a pity...Humans have ruined your shame.." he muttered to the stiffening body laying on the forest floor. Turning back to his original target, he spotted a young girl slowly approaching the windowsill in fright. Glaring he crouched back behind the brush, not wanting to be seen quite yet by this human. Glancing down under the sill, where the girls blue eyes were straying, he noticed a small black ball leaping up infront of the somewhat looker of a child. All humans were children to Jack as he had outlived many, and would outlive all of that girls ancestors. As the girl picked up the animal with a slight protesting mew, he watched her frame calm and turn back into the black of her room.
**************
The dawn light invaded the once creepy window as Keishi's eyes slid open. With a small moan of annoyance, she lifts the top half of her body off the comfort of the mattress as a loud piercing beeping sound vibrates through her once sleeping head. As Keishi reaches to relieve her hearing from the invading sound, she finds the bottom half of her body unable to move from a heavy burden. Fingers brushing the tab to off, she turns her head and notates the cat from the night before curled up ontop of the blanket that inhabits her lap.
"Neko...you are warm and comforting but I have to get up!" she stated exasperated until finally the animal stood up, stretched with claws clicked out and a yawn baring sharp teeth and a pink rough tongue. Making use of this distraction, Keishi swung her legs from under the comforter, almost immediately regretting having left her window open to the chill. Sneaking tiptoed across the wooden floor, she reaches for the chilled metal of the window as she goes to slide it into it's rightful place of closed. As the glass lowers, her eyes catch sight of something out of the ordinary laying in the grass behind her room. In recognition, Keishi's eyes widen in shock as she whirls to the closed door, yelling for her father to awaken. Reaching the open door to her parent's bedroom, she swears, noting the fact that her father was already most likely at work, and mother off to some form of shopping spree. Racing down the plush carpeted stairs, her tanned feet find the blue slippers in their rightful place. Opening the front door, a curse passes Keishi's lips as she books it out into the chilled morning air. Collapsing to her knees, she looks down at the black fur of a dog, small whimpers escaping its muzzle as red stains the small amount of snow splayed on the ground.
"Hang in there buddy....I'll figure something out..." she coos, trying to soothe the poor dog in it's injured form. Without alternative, she slid her thin arms underneath the heavy beast, lifting it with all of her strength up, across the yard and onto the cleared kitchen table. Racing to the bathroom, she grabs two large towels. Booking back to the animal, Keishi presses them to the wounds on its side.
"It'll be okay ....it will be okay..."
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Nessun Dorma
A small creaking noises invaded the silence of Keishi’s room as the moonlight shown on her face. It was 2 in the morning and she knew that her eyes should be tightly shut in sleep. Unfortunately, it had been an hour since a loud howl from the outdoors jolted her upright in bed. She knew that there really wasn’t anything outside her window, but for some reason ever since, every little noise removed her ability to fall asleep even more. Finally, giving up, her chilled feet hit the floor as she rolled out of the covers. Glancing left to right, she stood up and wandered over to the windowsill, slowly but surely glancing downward to assure her uneasy mind. With a sudden intake of breath, she fell back against the cold floor and skidded back against the wall opposite the window. Two practically neon green eyes had looked up at her from beneath the sill, practically boring into her soul. After a few minutes, Keishi regained her composure and used the wall to lift herself to her feet. Slowly, skidding her way across the hardwoord, she planted her feet firmly and leaned once again over the sill. Looking down once again to confirm what she'd seen, a heaving sigh of relief escaped her once tight lips.
"Neko!! What are you doing scaring the bejeebus out of me!" she squealed, reaching her pj covered arms out the window and lifting the black long furred cat through the window. Turning her back to the window, she runs her chilled fingers through her long fur, warming them up quickly. As she walks toward the bed to get her much needed sleep, two green eyes follow her thin form through the room from a farther away bush.
"Neko!! What are you doing scaring the bejeebus out of me!" she squealed, reaching her pj covered arms out the window and lifting the black long furred cat through the window. Turning her back to the window, she runs her chilled fingers through her long fur, warming them up quickly. As she walks toward the bed to get her much needed sleep, two green eyes follow her thin form through the room from a farther away bush.
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