Frustrations

Alright so this originally was just a place for me to post things like stories or poems. I haven't really been on here in months because I haven't really written anything in that period of time. I wrote the beginning of a different story around a month ago but that one is sitting still and untouched just like all of the others. Here is a tone of bitching I suppose you could call it. Most things revolve around school...I started taking classes at an online college around a year ago and things were a little frustrating at first but manageable. Now it seems like my care meter as far as school has gone practically to zilch and I don't know how to fix it...Even an easy class that I am in I am getting a D in because my caring has caused me to miss deadlines and entire assignments. Even the things as simple as discussion questions I am slacking on and I need to get a handle on that. The other major thing in my life that seems to be causing me issues would be my weight..I have been on and off diets for the last few years, and honestly, haven't really seriously dieted or succeeded on one in months. Even that one can't be considered much of a success because it only lasted around a week before I caved. I am at a dangerous weight in my life and that is not a good thing. Other then minor issues that are all related to weight, I seem to be pretty healthy, especially for someone who has been around my size and fluctuating up and down my entire life. I suppose you could phrase it as:

Hello my name is Jen and I am a foodaholic.

I have weighed over 300 lbs since I was in 6th grade, was 310 up until the end of high school, and then over the last 7 years it just seems to get worse then better. Right now I am around the range of 380 lbs..meaning that I am very close to hitting the 400 lb range..that is something I always told myself I would rather die then hit but at the rate I am going I might as well just call it inevitable. I am going to try and start being good about this kind of thing tomorrow and hopefully without the stress of keeping record of everything I can just write about my feelings here or in my notebook and not try to drown out my frustrations in food. As far as work I have been keeping pretty much to myself as far as breaks go so my eating habits are my own to control. I need to realize that eating is not the only thing I have in life to really keep things under control...Well maybe I'll update tomorrow and maybe I won't ...we will see...blurgh